


As Wolves Love Lambs

by This_One



Category: Darkwood (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Mystery, Romance, Survival Horror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2020-05-03 22:33:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19193095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_One/pseuds/This_One
Summary: Raphael has been trapped in the forest for far longer than any man should have to endure. With his memories fragmented and monsters knocking down the doors every night, it's hard to imagine the situation improving. The infection in his own body is getting worse by the day. Something needs to change soon, or he won't last much longer.





	1. Hunger

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction does not exactly follow the events of the game, and changes have been made to the canon. Mainly, most of the story that happens in the game will not happen here. The Pretty Lady does not exist, and the Wolf does not know the location of the doctor. This is an alternate story, utilizing the same characters, settings, and themes. Additionally, the appearance of The Stranger is completely different. He looks less like an emaciated corpse and closer to a typical 30-year-old. With these differences in mind, please enjoy.

The growling, it's coming from every side at once. They're especially active tonight, scraping at the wooden walls like they know he's in here. If they did though, he'd be dead already. The wardrobe moves a couple inches towards him before he gently and quietly pushes it back into place, trying not to imagine the beast on the other side. He can hear it though, breathing its ragged breath. Even smell it, the putrid smell of rot and death plain in the air. Whatever is on the other side must be horrifying. The sound of a door opening and closing alerts him that the creature has left, giving him a moment's reprieve. Truly only for a moment, as a few seconds later, a banging can be heard on the barricaded window. Wood chips shower across the floor as the boards he so painstakingly nailed up buckle and break under the pressure. With nothing to do but hope and hold the pistol tighter, he closes his eyes and listens. Grunts of exertion from the monster outside as it slams its weight into the window. Growling and yelling as a dog and a savage appear to be fighting each other just outside the front door. And, as always, the whispers. Are they really out there with the rest of the beasts, or are they in his own mind? He's so damn tired of them distracting him from what he should really focus on. Such as the final smash of his barricade being busted down. As he waits for footsteps to indicate the monster has climbed in, he keeps his eyes closed. The sound doesn't come, and eventually he has to crack an eye open. What he finds are rays of sunlight pouring in through the shattered window, signaling the end of another night.

28 days. Raphael's been in this wretched forest for 28 days now. He has convinced himself that he's in hell. He has to believe that. The alternative, that this exists on earth, is just too frightening. He used to have delusions of finding a way out of these woods, but those perished after about the 15th day. Every night he comes even closer to death, even closer to them breaking in and slaughtering him. It's always a near miss. Just a couple seconds more and he'd be done for. This was stressful the first few times, but the human mind can only endure so much. Now it's just routine. Barricade the windows, turn on the generator, push the wardrobe. It's as mindless as breathing at this point. The only thing keeping him going are the rare and vague flashes of things before this life. Yelling at a group of kids outside his flat for vandalizing it again, eating lunch with a friend and catching up, sitting in a classroom as an overenthusiastic professor drones on and on… they’re all he has at this point. 

Today is a morning like any other, The Trader waiting patiently in the middle of the room. Having no need for anything he sells today, Raphael walks right past the heavily clothed man without even a greeting. Politeness is not part of the routine.

The ground is covered in the roots of the many trees, acting as the lifeline of the forest. He often wonders what chopping them apart would do. Would it hurt the forest? Can it be hurt? It doesn't matter; he knows they'd all grow back by morning. He's gotten used to traversing them at this point anyway, almost never tripping anymore. Out here, it's a death sentence if you do. Massive trees provide enough canopy cover that he must pull out a torch at certain points or risk walking into something menacing. As he stares at the light of the torch, he can’t help but wonder if the flames would burn these trees. He's had many daydreams about watching the whole place go up in flames, but only dead wood ignites easily. And the forest is very much alive.

Raphael makes his way through the small thicket and to the wolfman's camp, barely paying enough attention to avoid the poisonous mushrooms littering the ground. When he arrives at the camp, the wolf is standing stoically by his campfire as usual, sneering at the approaching male. 

"Rough night? Oh, who am I kidding, they're always rough for you, aren't they?"

His voice is deep and gravely, and his tone is very obviously mocking. Without a word in response, Raphael steps close to the canine and stares at the pattern on his hunting jacket. The little hole with blood stains around it clearly advertising that it did not always belong to him. He was going to say something, something about trade, but all words have gone now. Without being given a response, the wolf continues, now a little perturbed by the dead-eyed stare of the man inches from him.

"Meat? Has this place finally broken you? Are you here to appreciate the one beautiful thing in this hellhole?"

The wolfman gestures to himself, but stops short as he notices something on the man's face. Tears. They're openly sliding down his skin, creating trails in the dirt covering his face. Suddenly, the man lunges forward, taking the wolf off guard and managing to wrap his arms around him. The silent crying is replaced by loud bawling only for a second, before the man pushes his face into the thick fabric of the jacket, muffling any further weeping. 

The wolf is stunned for longer than he should be. This is the last thing he expected from the man, even if he has been hanging by a thread. To hug a creature that could just as easily rip him to shreds... he really is that far gone. Finally, the wolf regains enough sense to begin to shove the man off, but he's interrupted by a quiet, desperate voice.

"...please..."

Once again, the wolf finds himself stunned. That voice is so weak, so vulnerable. Doesn't he know where he is? Vulnerability will get you killed. Still, this physical contact is the first he's had in months. The human part of him can't help but desire it after so long. He stands still as the smaller man weeps into his chest, paws twitching towards him occasionally, but never actually touching him. Neither of them speak, but Raphael's silence isn't from lack of trying. Every word comes out as a choked sob, muffled by the dirty fabric of the jacket. 

Soon, even his legs give out beneath him, dropping Raphael to his knees, where he continues to sob. The wolfman takes this as an opportunity to escape and backs away from the man still crying in his camp. He stares at the pathetic sight, yellow eyes scanning the crumpled form. He looks so tired. That is certainly unusual, considering the infected don't have to eat, drink, or sleep. But this one, he looks about to pass out. That's not the only oddity. If he doesn't drink, how can he cry? 

"Meat? I-"

"Raphael..."

"What?"

"My name... it's Raphael..."

"Well, _Meat _, you aren't going to last long like this. You better pull your shit together and do what you came here to do, or you won't make it to tomorrow."__

__No response from the curled up man, even his sobbing has stopped. He just lays there, motionless, resting his head on the soft ground. Finally, the silence starts to piss off the wolf, who now takes it as a sign of disrespect. After he just let this disgusting infected hug him to keep from going mad, he has the nerve to go and do it anyway. With a growl, he stomps over and kicks the man in the chest. This causes him to roll over, but elicits no other response. His eyes are closed, and the wolf almost writes him off as dead, but the subtle sound of breathing can be heard, as well as the slight movement of his chest. Is he... sleeping? Somehow this revelation is more disturbing than if he had died._ _

__\---------_ _

__The next few hours are confusing for the wolfman. He’s left with a sleeping human in his camp, who cannot be roused by even violent means. He’s definitely tried those. Even if he wakes up before the night, he’s going to be completely unprepared to survive it. What exactly is a wolf to do in this situation? He normally defaults to, “If it’s a problem, kill it,” but that doesn’t solve anything here. The wolf is now pacing around his camp, scowling and trying to figure out what to do._ _

__“Fucking human… gonna get himself killed… shouldn’t be my responsibility…”_ _

__A dog wanders up to the camp, sniffing the air in interest of the new smell it detects. It’s as mutated as every other dog in the forest, but it acts mostly like a normal animal. The wolf gives it a cursory glance, then returns to pacing. The wildlife ignores him for the most part, so there’s no need to kick it out of his camp. He even feeds the dogs the extra meat from whatever he hunts. This time though, the creature starts growling and barking at something. When the wolf looks, he sees the dog getting awfully close to the incapacitated man, a hunger in its eyes. Quickly, the wolf grabs a slab of meat from inside one of the tents and tosses it out of the camp. The rancid meat attracts the dog instantly, who grabs it up in its jaws and carries it off into the forest._ _

__“Not even dark yet, and you already need my help…”_ _

__He looks to the sky, at the setting sun, letting out a frustrated sigh. He has to do something now, if he’s gonna do anything. With a snarl, he swipes his claws across his tent in frustration, shredding the canvas and allowing the wind to flow freely through it. Then, just as incensed, he starts gathering some weaponry. He justifies this by claiming that he wants to learn how the human was able to sleep and can’t do that if he dies. He’s never seen an infected creature sleep, and they don’t have to eat or drink. This human was most certainly infected, yet there he lies, counting sheep._ _

__\---------_ _

__After tossing the sleeping man onto the bed, the wolf finds a few boards and nails around the ruined house, which he uses to repair the broken window. Then, just as the moon starts to rise, he turns on the generator and pushes the wardrobe in front of the doorway. Leaning on his assault rifle, he stares at the human’s sleeping form with disdain. Why is he, a great and beautiful wolf, missing out on sleep to protect such a puny creature? Still, he’s made the decision now. Nothing to do but follow through._ _

__The first hour goes by quickly, only punctuated by muffled noises outside. They never seem to even touch the walls. The wolf has taken to sitting on the bed, listening to the constant sound of breathing from the human. It occasionally hitches, giving the idea that he’s probably dreaming. He sure has a lot to dream about after 28 days of sleeplessness, most of it terrible. As much as he hates the situation, he doesn’t envy the position of the human. A bump against the door perks his ears up, and the rifle is in his paws in seconds. No second knock comes though, and whatever it was meanders off after just a few seconds. If this is really all the human had to deal with each night, he has no excuse to be so broken._ _

__The rest of the night passes uneventfully. The wolf almost falls asleep at one point, but a well-timed thump from outside jerks him awake. Must've been one of the creatures falling over. The sun starts to rise and as soon as it does, the wolf is up and rummaging through the house for something to eat. Expecting to find nothing, he's rather surprised when he comes across a stash of bread, still fresh enough to eat. It's not ideal, but he'll eat anything after the long night he's had._ _

__With a full belly, he goes back into the bedroom, staring once again at the sleeping human. He steps closer and starts shaking him, starting off gentle at first before getting rougher and rougher._ _

__"Wake the fuck up, Me-"_ _

__"I'm up, I'm up!"_ _

__The human pushes the paws away and rolls over, looking extremely groggy. His voice is hoarse from not using his throat for so long, but he does appear to be waking up. Letting out a yawn that causes the wolf to scoff, he starts standing up, rubbing his tired eyes. Finally, he sees the wolf in front of him and recoils, shocked._ _

__"What are you doing here? And what happened?"_ _

__"Hmph. You fell asleep, Meat."_ _

__"What?! How?! When?"_ _

__"Yesterday morning. You came to me, cried like a little bitch, then passed out."_ _

__The human pauses as the memories start to come back to him, and he sits back down on the bed, amazed that he had actually slept in it. He looks back up at the wolf, who's clearly getting a little impatient. The hood of his jacket is also down, exposing his ears that have been hidden previously. They stand up tall, adding another few inches to the creature's already impressive height._ _

__"So you... carried me back here? And wait, yesterday? So another night passed? How am I still alive?"_ _

__"Because I wanted you to be, Meat. I wanted to know how you were able to sleep, but you clearly know nothing, so I shouldn't have bothered."_ _

__The wolf makes a move to leave, but is interrupted by a hand suddenly grabbing his paw, making him turn on a heel._ _

__"Wait! I-I need to say thank you."_ _

__"You sure as hell do. It won't happen again either."_ _

__Though his paw is released, the wolf doesn't leave. He continues to look at Raphael, though the expression on his face is curious now. Like he's trying to put the pieces of a puzzle together in his head. He suddenly takes a step forward, frightening the man and causing him to lean further back. If one thing can be said about the wolfman, it's that he's unpredictable. He can be your comrade one moment and then a predator the next. Raphael speaks up, if only to parse why he's being looked at so intensely._ _

__"Um… what is it?"_ _

__The wolf's paws are suddenly on the human, pressing into his shoulders and keeping him in place. He yelps and protests in response but doesn't even come close to breaking free from the wolf's grip. A long snout is pressed against Raphael's neck, and he can feel the dampness of the wolf's nose rub against his skin. Finally, the wolf speaks._ _

__"You smell…"_ _

__He pauses to press his nose hard against the man's collarbone and inhale greatly._ _

__"...good."_ _

__Confused and frightened at the same time, Raphael flails against the overpowering grip and finally squirms away, but it's pretty obvious that the wolf released him. He doesn't look malicious, and his expression shows only surprise, which quickly calms the human down a little. He takes a few breaths before responding, looking very confused._ _

__"T-thank you? What does that mean exactly?"_ _

__"It means you're not infected. If you were, I'd smell it a mile away. I didn't notice until now due to the horrible vapors you insist on pumping into this house, but you're definitely clear."_ _

__Wide blue eyes meet wide yellow eyes as they stare at each other. Raphael is in complete disbelief, while the wolf is still trying to piece together everything. The last 28 days have been completely turned on their head. They sit in silence for quite a long time, before finally Raphael speaks up, still in disbelief._ _

__"Clear? Like cured? Are you sure you're not just missing my scent?"_ _

__"My nose doesn't just miss scents!"_ _

__"I know, I know! Sorry… it's just… how?"_ _

__"How would I know, Meat?!"_ _

__Silence falls once again, both of them realizing that they have no answers for what just happened. So, nothing out of the ordinary in the forest. But it usually isn't good things that happen for no reason. After a minute or two of just waiting, Raphael's expression breaks into a smile. It's the first one he's wore since he got here, and the muscles barely remember how to perform the action. They manage though, and he's sitting there smiling like an idiot in front of the wolf._ _

__"Why are you smiling like that? It's not like you're in any way safe. You're still trapped here."_ _

__"I know, but... I just realized something."_ _

__He continues smiling, now staring right at the wolf with an elated grin on his face._ _

__"I'm hungry."_ _


	2. Hope

“So you really don’t remember what it could’ve been, Meat? This is kinda fucking important if you couldn’t tell.”

“No! I’m telling you, there was nothing unusual about my last few days. No especially weird mushrooms, or strange liquids, nothing!”

The Wolf grumbles in response, observing the incredulous human. He should’ve noticed the change even before he could smell it. Just looking at the man, he appears healthier than before. Skin brighter and clearer, no veins visible through the skin. With his hat and scarf off now, he could pass for a normal 30-year-old if it wasn’t for the dirt covering him. There’s nothing his health can do for the lack of a shower the last month. The smell would be off-putting to anyone who hadn’t been around death and disease for as long as the wolf has. To him, Raphael smells fresh as a daisy. 

“We’ve been sitting here reminiscing for the last hour now. There’s truly nothing I can think of that caused my cure. Can’t we just… chalk it up to me having been through enough?”

This remark is met with a cold stare from the wolf.

“No.”

Raphael sighs and collapses back onto the log he’s been sitting on, holding his head up with his hands. The pair have had to migrate back to the wolf’s camp, as said wolf had eaten all the food Raphael had stockpiled. After feeding the human some charred venison(not pleasant, but it’s the only way to be sure they’re not eating infected meat), they sat down and have been discussing how all of this happened. They fall quiet, having said all they can about it, every possibility exhausted. Once again, it is a matter of them truly knowing nothing about the nature of the forest. Despite the rather unpleasant conversation, Raphael is still a little giddy. Finding out your death sentence has been canceled will do that to a man. He speaks up, lifting his head from his hands. 

“So now that I may be around here a little longer, you want to tell me your name?”

“...no.”

“No? What, have I not earned the right to know it or something?”

“No, you idiot. I just… don’t have one.”

“You don’t have a name? How is that possible?”

“I can’t fucking remember it, alright?!”

The outburst quickly silences Raphael, who went from being frustrated with the wolf to feeling a great amount of pity for him. His own past is fragmented beyond coherency, but to not even remember your own name… the thought is terrifying. Through it all, he’s always known that he is Raphael Lundric, and nothing will ever change that. He has a personality, a place in life that he’s just been temporarily removed from. The poor wolf has none of that, forced to forge an identity in this nightmare. For all he knows, he could’ve been created here.

“Um… sorry. I-I didn’t know.”

“Doesn’t matter, does it? What use is a name here?”

“It gives me something to call you. ‘Wolf,’ gets a little old, don’t you think?” 

The wolf shrugs, offering no solutions to the problem. What could he say, anyway? He doesn’t have a name, and no amount of inconvenience will change that. He settles onto his log and stares at the fire, fighting off the tiredness from last night. Raphael, in the meantime, stands up and begins to explore the small camp. It seems to be littered with a collection of random items, most of them violent in nature. Guns, knives, and all kinds of other weaponry are laying about the place. In opposition to this, however, is a stack of mostly ruined magazines assembled on top of a crate. With his interest piqued, he grabs the top one and peers at its dampened cover. Part of it falls apart in his grip, and he almost apologizes to the Wolf, realizing immediately that it’s just an old, rotted magazine. Still, the cover is somewhat readable, and Raphael can make out the words “CRIME,” “manhunt,” and “Luka.” He stares at the cover for a few more seconds, an idea popping into his head.

“Hey, what about Luka?”

“Huh? What do you mean, Meat?”

“Luka. I can call you it, just until you remember your real name.”

“The fuck? You think you can just name me whatever you want? Like I’m your pet or something?”

“No! I just want to be able to talk to you like a person…"

This seems to stunt the wolf’s tirade, and he simply stares at the human, as if trying to scry for any dishonesty. With an annoyed grunt, he stands up and turns around, staring out into the western woods. The trees grow denser the further in that direction you go, and visibility lessens very quickly. It’s probably for the best, considering what wanders the woods out there. While the wolf stares pensively westward, Raphael has become occupied staring at his slowly swishing tail. It’s mesmerizing in a way, especially knowing it belongs to the man that saved his life. He vaguely remembers characters like Luka(he’s started calling him this in his mind already) from his past life. There was a friend that shows up in various memories. He remembers that friend showing him comics and art of human-like animals. Maybe that friend would’ve even chosen to take his place if he could, just to realize some of his fantasies. The thought makes him chuckle, drawing the attention of the wolf, whose tail immediately stills. 

“What’s so funny, Meat?”

“Nothing, just thinking about the past.”

The glare he gets from saying that is somehow colder than any the wolf has given him before. He realizes his mistake too late, and the wolf closes the distance faster than he can apologize. Raphael quickly finds himself being lifted into the air by his shirt, coming much closer to the snarling canine than he’s comfortable being. The wolf carries him along as he walks away from the camp and back towards the hideout, growling the whole way. Raphael watches the wolf’s lip twitch repeatedly, exposing a slightly yellowed fang.

“I think it’s time you went back to your little house, Meat. Good luck in the night now that you need sleep.” 

He tosses him onto the ground, landing right on a particularly uncomfortable root. The human groans and rolls, stopping himself just inches away from a patch of poisonous mushrooms. He stops dead, very carefully standing up and backing away to avoid crushing a single one. By the time he manages this, the wolf has vanished, leaving him alone in the woods once again. Letting out a sigh, he starts meandering back towards the ruin that has become his home, the wolf on his mind the whole time. The goodwill between them only goes so far, apparently, and he needs to be more careful about Luka’s temper. 

The night isn’t as frightening as he thought it would be. For some reason, it’s almost quiet. No banging on the windows and the wardrobe doesn’t even move an inch. The only noises are few and far between, and they never sound very close to the house. Even the whispers have silenced. After a few hours of this, Raphael can’t help himself. He lies down on the bed and stares at the ceiling, basking in the silence the night has brought. It’s an enormous change from the last month, and he can’t help but feel it has something to do with his sudden cure. Maybe they can’t smell the infection anymore? That could explain why they aren’t trying very hard to get to him. Perhaps Luka would be the one to ask about that, whenever he calms down. Whatever the case, the man finds himself smiling once again. There may actually be hope of escaping this place if this is how the nights are now. The comforting thought and laying on the bed brings him closer and closer to sleep, and soon he falls into a restful, if light, slumber. 

\------

What wakes him isn’t a loud noise or rays of sunlight; rather, a shaky, gloved hand being gently laid upon his arm. In a slow and groggy fashion, Raphael rolls over and cracks open an eye. The sight before him is familiar, yet still slightly unnerving. The bundled-up body of the Trader stands before him, quaking with every labored breath. Several layers of clothes drape him, some of which look to have become as much a part of the man as his skin. Covering his face is a large, semi-transparent mask, reminding Raphael of an astronaut. Over that, as if he wasn’t covered enough, is a ripped sack that the individual is using as a hood. Fungus covers many parts of him, growing clusters of mushrooms on certain areas of his outfit. The man takes his hand away, tilting his head in a way that shows his confusion. That’s when Raphael remembers him not coming by yesterday, the first morning he’s missed since the very beginning. He knows nothing of yesterday’s developments, and he’s just come by to find him asleep.

“Oh, yeah, uh… I’m cured?”

What little can be seen of the Trader’s face shows surprise, eyes widened behind the mask. He takes a step back, before suddenly grabbing Raphael’s hand with both of his, shaking it in a way to try and show his excitement. Raphael smiles and stands up, nodding to show that he understood. He still remembers the first day he met the man, and he explained that all the clothing prevents him from speaking coherently. His arm was covered in ink from his own method of conversation. When Raphael found and provided him with a sketchbook to use instead, he was absolutely elated. Said sketchbook is now being removed from the burlap sack the man carries with him, and he gets a pen from the pocket of his overcoat, writing just three letters before turning it around for Raphael to see.

_How?_

“No idea. We were trying to work that out, but we couldn’t find anything different about my last few days.”

The obfuscated face of the man darkens when he hears this, and all the happiness drains pretty quickly. He writes his response in record time, making the letters a little hard to make out.

_We? You and wolf?_

Raphel nods, looking quizzically at the dour face of the man as he begins to write again. Despite his apparent situation, he’s always been rather upbeat, so to see him so upset can’t be good. He spends longer writing this time, glancing up at Raphael occasionally. When he does turn it around, the letters are darker, showing just how tightly he was gripping his pen.

_Wolf is dangerous, unstable. Please don’t trust him. Not your friend, like I am._

After Raphael reads that, the Trader has his pen cap tapping against the _like I am_ part. He’s always insisted that they were and are friends. To his credit, Raphael does feel somewhat of a connection to him. They were definitely something before his memory loss. Still, the few memories he does have wouldn’t help identify him, not with how he looks now. He’s asked the man for his name before, but he just responds with Trader. Raphael stares at the words for longer than he needs to read them, trying to figure out whether they have merit. The Trader has never led him astray before. He even saved his life when he first arrived here. But, on the other hand, the wolf did just the same two days ago. Though he has a temper, it’s hard to believe he would betray him after that.

“He saved my life. I don’t think he means any harm.”

As soon as those words leave his mouth, the gloved hand is moving again, scrawling across the sketchbook. The book isn’t going to last as long as it could if he keeps writing in such messy, large letters. Just this conversation has taken up most of a page. As he finishes, he seems almost reluctant to flip it around, looking at Raphael curiously. He lifts the pen again suddenly, clearly scratching out what he had been writing. Raphael doesn’t interrupt. He didn’t want to say what he wrote, and he has the right to correct it. It’s like editing a text message. The thought of text messaging seems like a million miles away, and the fact that his brain made that connection is quite amusing. Finally, the sketchbook is turned around and under a black scratch mark is the intended message.

_You’re not safe around him. You’ve always been too trusting. I just don’t want to see it be the end of you._

After Raphael finishes reading, he feels a gloved hand gently placed on his shoulder. The man stares meaningfully at him, and Raphael cannot believe he has anything but good intentions about this. The wolf is definitely dangerous, but is that any reason to shun him? He can’t exactly help that. Raphael mimics the action being done and places his hand on the Trader’s shoulder, offering a small smile. He definitely remembers this or something like it, and it’s starting to frustrate him that he can’t recall more. 

“I… I wish I could remember you.”

Through the fogged up visor, there’s a pretty clear smile on his face. He shakes his head and they release each other. The book comes out again and, on a new page, the Trader writes once more. His writing is much clearer and calmer now, though his condition still makes it a bit shaky. 

_I know. And you will. For now, let’s trade._

\------

With nothing to repair and plenty of excess fuel in the generator, Raphael is left with little to do today but think about his situation. Escape is now in the realm of possibility, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be easy. The one and only lead he has is a locked door that he doesn’t have a key to. Said key is in the hands of a psychopathic doctor that could be anywhere in the whole forest by now. And even if he can somehow obtain it, the only reason he thinks that door leads somewhere good is a fuzzy, half-remembered memory of it. That could just as easily be a product of his damaged mind. Still, it’s something to hope for, and it’s been a long time since he’s had that. 

A growl from his stomach interrupts the contemplation, and he glances downward. It’s been a while since he’s had to worry about that, and he still forgets sometimes. He stands and begins searching storage for anything edible. A collection of bright red mushrooms are stashed under his workbench, pulsating slightly. It’s hard to believe he used to crave these things. He grabs the fungi and tosses them out an open door, returning them to the forest they came from. Sadly, it seems that they were the last consumable thing in the whole house. This is an issue he hasn’t faced before, leaving him with no easy solutions to it. There are many animals that roam the wilds, but light won’t last forever, and it could be dark before he manages to catch anything. Plus, he only has 8 bullets in his pistol, and wasting them on wildlife doesn’t sound smart. Even if he does find food, that won’t sort out his thirst. He woke up here with a canteen, and he’s been draining that since his cure, but it’s nearly empty now.

It isn’t long before he realizes his only option. There’s only one place he can reach before dark that has food and water. He can only hope the Wolf is nice enough to provide for him, despite his lack of anything to trade. Grabbing his pistol, a torch, and a bandage just in case, he starts towards Luka’s camp. The sun is just starting to descend past the middle of the sky, giving him a few hours left before nightfall. The short trip gives him some time to decide his approach. The wolf was pretty pissed with him before, so maybe he should start with an apology? But he doesn’t want to make it seem like he’s only doing so to get something out of him. Perhaps coming right out and asking would be best? The fact is that Raphael still doesn’t know much about Luka beyond his volatility. Though there isn’t much to learn if he can’t remember who he is.

When he reaches the camp, the wolf is not present. It remains as he last saw it though, with the addition of duct tape on the side of his sleeping tent. Standing in the middle of the unoccupied camp, Raphael briefly considers just taking what he needs and leaving. The wolf probably wouldn’t even notice. The idea is shot down immediately, and he chastises himself for even considering it. That’s not the kind of man he is, or at least remembers being. He’d rather go hungry than lose that part of himself. 

Rustling bushes draws his attention away from his own character. He draws his gun and aims it, standing in a practiced stance. The rustling stops for a moment before Luka pushes through the underbrush, a large elk being carried over his shoulders. He stills as he sees Raphael, giving the gun only a brief glance before a smirk rises on his face.

“Better not miss, Meat.”

The pistol is put back in its holster, and Raphael starts an apology that is quickly interrupted by a grunt. The wolf walks forward and deposits the carcass next to the fire pit, rolling his shoulders to get the knots out of them. The body is larger than Raphael himself, and it’s frankly impressive that he could carry it. The silence hangs between them as the wolf obtains a machete to begin skinning the elk. Raphael doesn’t know how to bring his situation up, and Luka seems content in the quiet. It’s not entirely quiet though, with the sound of blade carving into flesh. While still working dutifully, he speaks up.

“Luka’s not the worst name.”

The following pause has Raphael waiting for more, but it seems that’s all the wolf wanted to say.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I still hate the idea of it. Imagine if someone decided to rename you. Call you something like-”

“Meat?”

Raphael expected anger, but what crosses Luka’s face is much closer to amusement. 

“Ha. Touché. Still, if it gives you something to call me, it is better than Wolf.”

With the elk thoroughly skinned, he begins cutting off cookable portions and setting them next to the smoldering campfire. The whole ordeal creates quite a mess, leaving him with bloody paws. When he finishes with the body, he tosses the remains as deep in the woods as he can, sure to attract some of the wild dogs. After wiping his paws on a log, he turns to face Raphael with an expectant expression.

“So, you’re here for food then, huh?”

“Um… not solely. I also wanted to apologize for yesterday. I wasn’t thinking before I said what I did.”

“Sounds like you. Just remember who you’re talking to, yeah? I would have no problem eating you now that you’re not infected.”

This statement is punctuated by a smile that exposes sharp canines. Somehow, even when the wolf is trying to seem threatening, Raphael has a hard time believing he would actually do what he says. Maybe the Trader was right and he trusts too easily, but the wolf has yet to do anything untoward. 

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Now. You need food and water. I have both, or, I will when this cooks.”

He grabs a few sticks to add kindling to the fire and places a slab of meat on a rock in the middle of it. The flames lick at the flesh, distorting its image slightly as it is enveloped. He sits down on a log that has been placed there for just that purpose. From what Raphael has seen, he usually prefers to stand in his presence. He must be tired after his hunt. Raphael hesitates for a moment before sitting next to him, trying not to get too close and intrude on his personal space. He really does need to treat him like a wild animal. Raphael decides that now is as good a time as any, and he speaks up.

“I don’t… have anything to trade for it. Nothing you’d actually be interested in. Do you think you could spot me just this once?”

The silence that follows that is deafening. The wolf only briefly glances in his direction before turning to stare at the fire. Nothing can be gleaned from his expression, and Raphael starts to wonder if he’d made a mistake even asking. Finally, Luka speaks, but his tone is as unreadable as his face. 

“You have some balls coming to me and asking for handouts. And after I literally told you I wouldn’t save your life again. Y’know what? I respect that. You’re tenacious.”

With that, he gets up and enters his tent, returning moments later with a thermos of lukewarm water. 

“You don’t deserve my help, but I’ll give it to you. This is the last time though.”

He provides the human with the thermos, which he quickly begins chugging. After sitting down, the wolf starts to explain how he manages to get his own food and water, so Raphael can do the same. He tells him of a small lake only a kilometer south that he gets his water from, as well as his method of purifying that water. He also mentions the best traps for catching rabbits and how to properly sneak up on a creature you’re hunting. Raphael listens intently to everything, still a little stunned that he’s being so helpful. Occasionally, the wolf pokes the fire with a stick and examines the meat, pulling it out after just a few minutes. The meat is blackened on the outside, but the inside still seems reasonably edible. 

“This is another thing. If you have infected meat, make sure you burn the hell out of it before eating. It’s the only way to make it safe, trust me.”

He grabs one end of the chunk of venison and sinks his fangs into it, tugging on it as his paws still hold the other half. With some effort, the meat is ripped apart. Luka offers the side not covered in his saliva to Raphael, which he graciously takes. The taste is much like yesterday’s but fresher, and he eats it slowly, face scrunching up with each bite of burnt venison. Luka eats his piece in a much less graceful way, tearing apart the flesh and spitting the fattier pieces into the dirt. He devours the entire thing in just a few minutes, following it up by throwing another slab into the fire, adding some more pieces of wood around it. The good thing about charring the meat is that you really don’t have to pay attention while cooking it. While Raphael continues to slowly eat, Luka sits down and talks to him.

“So, what are your plans now that you’re cured? Gonna hold up in your house until the day you die? Around here, that isn’t far away.”

“Well… I’m actually looking into a way out.”

“Ha! You do know all roads lead back here, right? You don’t leave unless the forest wants you to.”

“Not all roads… there’s a door under a ruined house not far from here. I know it leads to a way out, but it’s locked. I had a key. That doctor took it from me.”

Luka perks up when he hears this, clearly intrigued. He had tried every exit he could think of the first month here, but he always ended up wandering back into the forest. He’d given up the thought of escape long ago, electing to settle and make the best of what he had until a new opportunity presented itself. Perhaps, just maybe, Raphael is that new opportunity? If he isn’t just making this all up from the delirium this forest causes. 

“Doctor? Only one doctor I know of in the forest. I remember seeing him helping people in the village. Before they chased me out with pitchforks and torches, that is.”

“Did that really happen, Luka?”

“More or less. Though fewer torches and more shotguns.”

The wolf is making it harder and harder for Raphael to fear him. He feels little but pity for him at this point, knowing the torment he’s endured. Born into a sick world with no escape, forced away by every person he’s met simply because of his appearance. Life truly hasn’t been kind to this wolf. He can’t be blamed if he didn’t, as Raphael’s father used to say, “fall out of that shitstorm smelling like a rose.” 

“I’m really sorry they treated you like that.”

“I deserved it. Now, about your doctor friend, you might want to ask around the village. Though it’d be quite a journey, and you wouldn’t be able to make it back here before dark. There’s another hideout like yours out that way you could use. Though I don’t think you need those vapors anymore, so anywhere defensible can be your shelter.”

“What, really? Why?”

“The villagers have no such thing and they’re just fine. I think it has something to do with being infected, which you are not anymore. The creatures will still attack you though, so you need some kind of shelter. It just doesn’t need to smell like ass.”

He wrinkles his nose at the thought, baring a fang just slightly. The smell was certainly off-putting the first time Raphael experienced it, but he’s since gotten used to it. Seeing the wolf peeved about something like that is kind of amusing actually, considering the smells that often permeate the forest. 

“I’ll definitely consider that, but traveling all the way out there… well, it’s daunting. I’ve barely survived out here, and having to restart in a denser part of the woods could be deadly.”

“Ha! Yeah, you’d probably die. And if you stay here, you’ll definitely die. Welcome to the forest.”

Raphael can’t help but chuckle at that, laughing at both the joke and the whole situation. This has become his life. Laughing with a sentient wolf in the middle of a forest that wants to kill him. It’s hard to imagine a weirder evening. He leans back and looks up between the leaves at the sky, just starting to turn orange. It’ll still be at least an hour before the sun actually sets. An idea hits him as he watches the amber hues settle in. He glances over at the wolf, who has taken to gnawing on a second piece of meat. 

“I wouldn’t die… if I wasn’t alone.”

With his fangs still in the flesh, the wolfman turns his head to look at Raphael, eyes curious. He clearly hasn’t put the pieces together, and he’s not willing to stop eating long enough to ask for clarification. Realizing that wasn’t clear, Raphael continues.

“I mean, you could accompany me. If you want a chance at escape, this is probably your best option. And if I die out there, you may never get another opportunity. Besides, what do you have to gain from staying here?”

This finally makes the wolf put his food down, wiping his muzzle. He stares quizzically at the human, seemingly puzzled by the offer. Sure, escape sounds desirable, and he’s not wrong that there’s nothing here for him. That’s not what has him so bewildered. 

“You think you’ll be safer with me than without? Have you actually seen who you’re talking to? You’re not only fucking helpless but also a terrible judge of character.”

There’s a certain sadness in his voice even as he taunts Raphael. An emptiness to his insults. He ends it with a snarl and looks down, lip twitching to expose a few fangs. Raphael would come up with some kind of response, but he just doesn’t look willing to hear it at the moment. Reminding him that he saved his life would only piss him off more. He simply sits with the wolf for about a minute, neither of them speaking or even moving. Eventually, Raphael musters up some courage and starts to extend an arm. Luka watches it out of the corner of his eye but doesn’t react as it moves closer to him. That hand is carefully placed on the shoulder of his hunting jacket, squeezing tightly. He can feel him breathing through the physical connection- slow, steady respiration entirely unlike the Trader’s deathly wheezing. The wolf closes his eyes and lowers his head, focusing on the feeling of that hand on him. Raphael takes a few moments as well before speaking. 

“I trust you.”

Though it is in exact opposition to the Trader’s advice, the words are out before Raphael can think about them. The look on the wolf’s face was just too sad for someone he was supposed to be afraid of. And despite being warned against it just this morning, he does trust him. You need to trust someone after a month of fending for yourself, and Luka has only helped him. Despite his appearance, attitude, and instability, Raphael can’t help but see the good in him. It’s who he is, who he remembers being. 

“Then you’re stupider than you look.”

Despite his harsh words, he doesn’t pull away from the hand. He actually lifts his head before continuing, looking Raphael in the eyes.

“You’d really want me with you? A beast that could tear you apart in your sleep just because it gets hungry?”

“You’re not a beast, Luka. You’re a man. A man with a… unique appearance, but you’re still a man. You have far more control of yourself than that.”

They’re both quiet for a moment. He lets those words hang, and the wolf doesn’t seem eager to argue. Raphael is honestly surprised it’s going this well. He expected to be shot down immediately. But with Luka at his side, he has a real chance of finding a way out of here. And with a new comrade as well. He can’t help but smile as hope fills him. Raphael takes his hand off the wolf and instead holds it out in front of him. 

“So, will you join me?”

Luka doesn’t respond for nearly a minute, just staring at the outstretched hand thoughtfully. Finally, shifting in his seat on the log, he turns to fully face Raphael. His paw lifts and quickly envelops the human’s. The fur feels smooth and even slightly conditioned, and his claws are large enough to wrap all the way around the hand. The grip he uses is tight, nearly painful, but this moment is far more important than Raphael’s discomfort. He smiles despite it, shaking the paw happily. Luka doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t need to. 

“That’s great! I know we’ll find a way out together!”

The handshake is broken and the wolf immediately rolls his eyes, wiping his paw on the side of his jacket as if the human had dirtied it. 

“I’m already regretting it, Meat. Please tell me you won’t be this insufferable the whole time.”

“Nope. Just until you stop calling me Meat.”

This earns the man a glare, but he’s too happy to care about it. Besides, when is the wolf not glaring? 

“It’s getting late, Meat. Time for you to go.”

“Yeah. Thank you for the food and water. And for coming with me. I really appreciate it.”

He grunts.

“I’ll… see you tomorrow then.”

He grabs the thermos he was given and starts out of the camp, stopping after just a few steps to turn around and look at Luka. He opens his mouth, but quickly decides against it. The wolf wouldn’t want to hear it anyway. With a sigh, Raphael turns back around and continues towards his hideout. He has a lot to think about during the night. Things are changing. The life he has known for the last month may soon come to an end. And maybe, just maybe, the next one will be better.


	3. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> I want to thank everyone who commented and left Kudos, and to explain my long absence. To be honest, this was my first published fanfiction, and it's about a game very few have played. I never expected anyone to actually read it, let alone want more. I posted it and literally did not open it for half a year, and I don't get notifications from Ao3, so I never knew people had commented. I just happened to check the other day and saw what was, to me, an overwhelming amount of support for this project I had all but abandoned. I am truly sorry I didn't come back sooner. But I'm willing to change that. Chapter 3 is here, and I'm happy to continue, if you all are willing to forgive my absence thus far. It's not something I intend to make into a habit. With all that said, enjoy the next chapter of As Wolves Love Lambs, and know that your kind comments and kudos are the reason it exists today.

The night seemed just as uneventful as the last one. He even got another few hours of sleep this time, waking up on his own after getting a good seven hours. It isn’t the most restful sleep he’s ever had, with the constant worry of a break-in, but it’s still sleep. The Trader doesn’t show up today, and he can’t help but get a little worried. He wanted to talk to him about the new developments or at least inform him that he’s gonna leave. 

Raphael is going through his small collection of items, filling a bag with everything he plans on bringing into the Silent Forest. It is a quiet morning, almost entirely silent outside. No birds sing their songs here in the forest. A loud smash from inside the house interrupts the quiet, making the poor human jump. With a now racing heart, he grabs a board with nails sticking out haphazardly from it and starts slowly towards the noise. He rounds a corner with the board held high, ready to bring it down on whatever beast made it in, only to find Luka standing in a mess of broken wooden planks. He seems to have destroyed the wardrobe that was still blocking the entrance, pushing it over and causing it to shatter. The look on his face is half-guilty, half-amused. 

“Welp. Guess it’s a good thing you’re moving out, huh?”

“You scared the hell out of me, Luka! Jeez, I thought you were some kind of monster.”

“Well, you weren’t wrong.”

Raphael sighs and drops the board on the ground, taking a few deep breaths to calm down. The wolf seems to get increasingly more entertained as he does, appearing to delight in the reaction he caused. Once Raphael calms down a bit, he can see that there is a backpack resting against the wall behind the wolf with an assault rifle attached to one side and a machete on the other. It looks full too, and rather heavy. A sleeping bag or something of the sort is rolled up and hanging from it. 

“Is that...? Are you ready to leave right now?”

“Yeah. Aren’t you?”

“What? No! We made the plan a few hours ago! I thought I was getting ahead of myself just starting to pack stuff.”

“Well, you’re making me wait, so hurry up.”

With an unconcerned grunt, he turns around and walks outside, taking his pack with him. Raphael is stunned, watching the wolf’s back as he leaves to wait outside. Is he really so eager to get going? There’s no reason to wait, but it just seems so sudden. With a sigh and a shrug, he goes back to packing for the trip, a little faster this time. The mess of a room looks much more like a hoarder’s basement than a survivalist’s cache, with seemingly useless items like bits of string and wire draped around randomly. He definitely doesn’t mind leaving most of that behind. In the end, he finds very little he actually wants to take, barely filling his backpack. What he does take is a few bandages and alcohol for injuries, his gun and board to use as weapons, and a few miscellaneous items to make other things with. It isn’t much, but he hasn’t exactly had time to start a collection with the other things he has had to deal with. When he finishes packing, he finds a scrap of paper and a pen, leaving a note for the Trader, in case he comes back here. It basically explains why he’s not here, and to check around the Silent Forest and village specifically. He ends it with an apology for not heeding his warnings, but another affirmation that the wolf really doesn’t mean any harm. 

“That a love note, Meat?”

Raphael jumps once again and accidentally scrunches up the note he was writing, dropping the pen in the process. The wolf is now standing right behind him, and he was close enough that Raphael jumps right into his chest. Instantly, his paws are on the man’s shoulders, stilling him with a quiet growl. With his heart pounding and breath rapid, Raphael snaps at the wolf as soon as he processes that it’s him.

“Fuck, Luka! You’re gonna give me a heart attack!”

“Oh, shut up. If you can survive a month of living hell, I don’t think a spook is gonna kill ya.”

He keeps his paws on Raphael’s shoulders, now leaning over him to read what he can of the crushed note. As soon as he gets the gist, all interest is lost. He lets go and turns around, dragging an unwilling Raphael with him. 

“Alright, I’ve waited long enough. Let’s get the fuck out of here.” 

The man sputters and tries to pull back, but it’s useless. He drops the note on the ground and lifts his pack, being carried outside with the wolf, where he is set down. The sun is surprisingly bright this morning, or at least seems that way to Raphael. The air normally has a slight haze to it no matter the time of day, and it always appears dark due to the tree canopy. Today though, the light of dawn is pouring through the gaps between leaves, as if symbolizing the new hope that Raphael feels for the future. The wolf doesn’t stop to admire the weather, however; he quickly begins marching westward. Raphael, once again surprised by his haste, has to quickly follow or be left behind. He's never really ventured too far west before. It tends to get dangerous fast, not to mention dark, but he feels oddly at ease with the wolf leading the way. 

\------

They've been walking for at least half an hour already, though it's hard to tell time in the forest since neither of them have any sort of watch. As they walk, Raphael finds his eyes drifting between the fluffy tail of Luka and the M16 dangling from his backpack, placed strategically in arm's reach. It's the most advanced weapon Raphel has seen in the forest, and he's somewhat curious about its origins. He catches up to Luka and walks beside him.

"So… where'd the gun come from?"

"Huh? Oh. Found it."

"I figured, but where?"

"Around. Where do you find your stuff?"

"Discarded backpacks, ruins, sometimes just lying on the ground."

"Then that's how I found the rifle."

That's… an odd deflection. Raphael debates pressing the issue, but considering Luka didn't snap at him like usual, he has to assume that he's making an effort to be nice. He doesn't want to test that by prodding him for information he doesn't want to give, so he lets the subject drop. How interesting could a story about finding a gun be anyway? 

Their surroundings start to grow darker as the rays of sunshine poking through the canopy grow few and far between. Soon, surprisingly soon actually, it's as dark as night and Raphael is just following the barely visible back of a hunting jacket. The wolf, for his part, seems completely unperturbed by the sudden darkening. He's not even having an issue maneuvering, though Raphael supposes that is to be expected from a canine. 

"Hold on for a second, Luka."

The wolf does what he's told, but not without an audible sigh. Raphael fumbles in his pack for a moment before pulling out a flashlight. He clicks it on and is finally able to actually see what's before him. He looks up only to meet the empty eyes of a fresh corpse, impaled against the tree with a metal stick. His face is a mask of horror, mouth open wide in a final expression of agony. His legs both end in bloody nubs as wild animals have devoured the parts of him that they could reach. Raphael just catches the telltale signs of movement behind that tree before Luka pushes him to the ground and wrests the light from his hands, flicking it off instantly, plunging Raphael into darkness. His other senses are of no use either. All he can hear is his heartbeat in his ears, and his sense of smell is just as unhelpful as always in the forest, overwhelmed by the must and rot that pervades all. He can't even tell if Luka is still nearby. Or if that thing is coming right for them.

With nothing else to do and no clue as to the threat awaiting him, he starts to reach for his pistol. His arm gets a few inches across his chest before it's suddenly and harshly grabbed. Mere moments away from screaming in terror, he realizes that what is gripping his arm is soft and furry, and it's not gripping as much as just holding. So Luka didn't abandon him after all. But he doesn't want him going for his gun for some reason. It takes an effort to suppress the fear building up in him, but he decides to heed the warning and just lie on the ground, as still and quiet as he can manage. Finally, as his heart starts to slow just enough to allow him to hear, he can make out subtle footsteps in the earth. Leaves crunching, a small twig snapping. And considering that the large paw wrapped around his arm has not shifted, he can only guess that these footsteps belong to whatever he saw with his flashlight. And there's nothing he can do but sit there, trying his best to pinpoint the direction of the noises. His ears are no canine's though, and the most he can do is determine that whatever is out there is probably walking on two legs. Helpful, Raphael. At least when you die, you'll know that a biped did it. 

They get a tiny bit louder, and his whole body tenses involuntarily with the desire to just get up and run. Then the noises stop, and that only serves to exacerbate that need. But the paw on him is steady, not shaking at all like he must be. Luka isn't worried, and he can see the thing, so why should Raphael be? He calms his nerves and goes completely still, trusting in the wolf to know what he's doing. A few more tense seconds pass, and his patience pays off. The footsteps start receding, getting noticeably quieter until they taper off into nothing. He breathes a sigh of relief as the paw is removed from his arm, and he starts to stand. He gets halfway up before he's slammed against a nearby tree. Pain flares in his chest as he feels his bones protest at the harsh movement. There's little doubt as to the attacker this time, as hot breath pours over his face, smelling very distinctly of the wolfman. Said wolfman growls out his next words, practically crushing Raphael to the tree the whole time. 

"Are you trying to kill us, you fucking moron?!"

Coughing and sputtering, Raphael tries his best to respond, but he's silenced by a harsh shove to the floor, getting a mouthful of dirt for his effort. 

"We can't go half an hour into… whatever the hell this is, without you shining a light on a fucking monster!"

Raphael lies on the ground, closing his eyes and trying not to imagine the damage Luka did to his ribs. He's expecting to be kicked, or beat with the rifle, or some other heinous thing that never comes. Instead, he just lies there, much like he was moments ago, though the fear is more known this time. He can still hear Luka's growl-ladened breathing above him. With aching ribs, Raphael rolls over and looks up to face the wolfman, coughing once before muttering just loud enough for the wolf to hear. 

"I'm sorry…"

Luka stares down at him, lips twitching to expose his fangs. He doesn't say anything, but his piercing eyes flick between Raphael's face to his ribs. His paws flex into fists briefly, and then he kneels down to his companion. Raphael flinches away immediately, hands going out to cover his chest in preparation for an attack that never comes. Luka finally touches him, rather gently pulling at his arms to expose his chest. Raphael watches with fearful interest as his several layers of clothes are lifted just enough for a paw to find its way under them. He winces and sucks in a breath as the claws trace his sore chest. After almost a minute of painful inspection, the paw is retracted and the clothes are replaced. Luka faces him.

"You're gonna be fine. Nothing's broken."

Raphael can tell there's something more he wants to say. He opens his mouth for more, but snaps it shut and instead just gives Raphael an expectant look. 

"T-thanks…"

"Do not thank me! I caused…"

He's growling again now, but not at Raphael. 

"I did this. I was angry, and…"

Once again, he mouths more words briefly, before shutting up and instead just standing. He holds out his paw towards the human, gesturing to it with a simple nod of his head. Raphael gingerly lifts his hand and places it in the larger paw, letting Luka do all the work as he lifts him to his feet. It hurts, definitely, but with the wolf's reassurance, he feels a little bit better. Standing once again, one hand in Luka's paw, the other holding his stomach, Raphael looks up at the wolfman's face. He's just close enough that what little light there is in the forest illuminates his expression. What he finds there is something resembling _guilt_. Luka can't meet his gaze, and his head is slightly lowered, keeping his eyes glued to the ground. That's an expression he hasn't seen on him before. Raphael has an internal debate with himself about how he should even feel right now. He didn't think him and Luka were friends, but he at least thought they were on the same team. His aching ribs are now evidence of how false that assertion was. But, Luka clearly feels remorse for it. Maybe he didn't intend to hurt him, but just got angry and carried away. Still, he can't help but think that a smarter man would walk away from this. The wolf is clearly a liability, if not a threat. But, he did probably save him from whatever he shined the light on. 

"I… I'm sorry I turned my flashlight on. I didn't know…"

His apology is met with several seconds of silence, punctuated only by his own breath and the slightly faster breathing of the wolfman. Finally, said wolf manages to speak, his voice softer than Raphael has ever heard it before.

"...I can find my way back to my camp. You shouldn't have brought me along."

With that, he turns his back to him and takes a few steps in the direction they came from. Raphael's reaction is immediate. He barely thinks about whether what he's doing is smart before he's lunging after Luka. His chest protests as he lands hard on it, but his hands clasp around the first fuzzy thing they find, which happens to be the tail of the wolfman. 

"No! Please don't go! I barely know where the hell I am, I can't see shit, and you know way more about these monsters than I do! I can't find a way out without you!"

His words are probably way louder than is safe in the forest, but he couldn't care less at that point. Without Luka there, he's certain he'd die. The tail twitches between his fingers, but he doesn't let go. Even if it pisses the wolf off, it's better to have him stuck here and angry than walking away. The tail goes limp suddenly, and he hears a deflated sigh from above him.

"I'm… sorry I hurt you. I just can't control myself…"

That's another new thing he hasn't seen in Luka. His voice sounds so sad, like he's about to break down into tears, but he stops talking before that can happen. Raphael's number one concern has shifted from his ribs to the wolf at his point, and hearing that sadness makes him want to marginalize the whole situation. Once again, seized by his desire to fix the situation, Raphael doesn't think before he stands and wraps the wolf in a hug. The wolf's breath hitches in surprise, but he doesn't react other than that. Raphael does notice that the movement barely irritates his hurt ribs. It must not have been that bad, if he's already getting over it. 

"It's okay, Luka. It doesn't hurt anymore. I forgive you."

Raphael meets very little resistance at first, so he tightens the hug. Luka makes no move to pull away or return it, just as he did the last time he hugged him. It has to be at least a whole minute before Luka makes any moves, and Raphael isn't about to let go when the wolfman could easily dart away. There's a few moments of near-complete silence, though he can hear and feel the wolf's steady breathing with every swell of his chest. Finally, he feels a low growl form in him, and he's being very gently extracted from the hug, putting some distance between the two.

"Alright, alright. Just calm down. And, by the way, you're really not helping your case about being a moron right now. Who hugs the person that just attacked them?"

"I do, when I know they didn't mean it. And now, I really think we should get moving. I trust you and all, but I'd really like to see on my own soon. It's… unnerving not knowing what's around you."

"Yeah… you're right, let's go. This is the thickest part of the Silent Forest. Once we're through, it'll be just as dangerous, but you'll at least be able to see, until the sun goes down. And take your flashlight back. Don't turn it on."

Raphael can't help the smile he gets from Luka's agreement, even as he reattaches the tool to his backpack. The good news about being able to see soon is nice, but he's really just happy Luka isn't going to leave him. How strange that he's clinging to what he would've thought of as a monstrosity just a month ago, begging him to stay. Speaking of clinging, he realizes after the first few steps that he can't see Luka's back anymore. It's just darkness.

"Luka, wait. I can't see."

"Uh, yeah, I know. We've talked about it."

"No, like, I can't even see you. Um… maybe I could hold onto you?"

Raphael is kind of getting tired of Luka's silences. When you're already deprived of sight, it sucks when people leave you in silence as well. Though he's mildly peeved about that, he forgives him quickly when his hand is suddenly enveloped by a wolf paw, which gently starts pulling him in the direction they were walking. It's a wordless exchange; normally, he'd expect at least a quip from Luka, if not outright refusal, but there's nothing aside from the comforting feeling of holding hands. Wait, comforting?

"T-thanks, Luka."

"It'll make it easier to hide you when I see something. Careful here. Big root."

He steps over the root and obediently follows along, trusting in the wolf to lead him through the forest. With no sights to distract him, he's left alone with his own thoughts which, like all things in the forest, turn weird quickly. He can't help it. He is literally holding hands with an anthropomorphic wolf, trusting completely in him to guide them through the darkness. Maybe he really does have a problem with trust. The Trader seemed to know more about who he was than he did, so maybe this is a habit of his. The trusting thing, probably not the holding hands with strange wolves thing. If it is just him being overly trusting… well, does that really change his mind? This wolf is his only chance to survive in this forest long enough to find that doctor and escape. He would've already died a few times over if not for him. And not all of his reasons are so logical, either. Despite the earlier incident (though it barely hurts anymore), he feels an odd happiness with Luka. What he feels with the Trader is more of a long-standing camaraderie, but it's tainted by the constant sorrow of not being able to remember him. With this wolf, it's new and exciting. Still a type of camaraderie, they are both trapped in this hellhole after all, but it's… for lack of a better term, exciting. For example, they're holding hands right now. Though he plainly understands the logical reasons for them to be doing so, he can't help but feel a little giddy when those claws just barely trace his palm. There's a voice in his head that's all too happy to remind him of the reality, however. _Giddy? What the hell are you thinking? He's a_ wolf! 

Yeah, he is, and… Raphael kind of likes that. 

\-----

"Alright, I can sort of see now."

No sooner than the last word has escaped his lips is his hand dropped back to his side. Luka apparently wasn't as excited about the contact as he was, and he's eager to get it over with. Raphael is a little disappointed, but he did get an extra few minutes out of it by waiting until he could see completely before mentioning anything. The forest has thinned, and what they emerge into is not too dissimilar from the environment of the Dry Meadow, though things seem noticeably more vibrant. In the meadow, the ground was mostly dirt with a slight leaf covering, but here nearly every spot of ground is covered in green, wispy grass. Even as they clear up enough to allow some light through the canopy, there are still more trees here than in the meadow. More plant life in general, actually. Does that mean the forest is stronger here? It would explain why this area is more dangerous. He resolves to be on his guard. He considers drawing his pistol, but Luka has had that assault rifle dangling from his pack this whole time and hasn't even touched it. Raphael decides to follow suit. Besides, he seems to be rather adept in weapons use, so quickly drawing a pistol is rather easy to him. Whoever Raphael was before coming here, he definitely has weapons training. Luka's voice pulls him from his reverie.

"Alright. Keep an eye out for anything that could serve as a shelter. We should have light for a few more hours, but it might be better to settle in before then instead of pushing on and hoping we find another shelter."

"Oh, yeah, sure. That's smart. You've been here before though, right? You said you've been to the village, so I assume…"

"Yes. But the forest has a tendency to change."

"It… does? I haven't seen that."

"You've barely left that shelter in a month."

"And if I remember correctly, you've been at your little camp the whole time I've been here."

"Yeah, well, I traveled a lot before then."

"Before then? How long have you been here?"

It was asked off-the-cuff to keep the conversation going, but Luka's silence in response gives Raphael a chance to see how hard a question that would be. But that silence only exacerbates his curiosity, so he can't bring himself to rescind the question. 

"...I'm not sure anymore. I used to keep track, but I gave that up when I gave up trying to escape. By now, it has to have been… a year?"

"A year?!"

The words are out before Raphael can stop himself, and Luka lets out a quiet growl in response. The human hastily tries to correct himself.

"Sorry, sorry! But… that is a long time. Damn, Luka… I'm, sorry, I guess."

The wolf just turns away, returning his full attention to the path ahead. Raphael was stupid for thinking his apology would mean anything in the first place. It's the same as saying 'well, that sucks.' And it's pretty damn obvious to both of them that it sucks. All of this sucks. No, he needs to say something more than that. He grabs Luka's right arm in the middle of the walk to stop him. He tenses at first, as if preparing to shake him off, but then just relaxes. He doesn't turn around however. 

"Hey, Luka…"

Raphael moves to be standing in front of the wolf, tilting his head upwards just slightly to meet his eyes. Finally, Luka gives up his defenses and matches the gaze, staring dully.

"I just wanted to say. If you've been in here a year, you're a stronger man than I am. You saw me the other day. I broke down after just a month of living here. But you, you've been here way longer than that, and with less hope of escape and no memories. It's impressive that you're still able to hold a conversation and be helpful, as you have been."

His eyes go down, and Raphael can tell he's thinking about the earlier incident.

"Some violent tendencies are nothing compared what you should be suffering. If I was in your shoes… I don't think I'd be alive today. Whether by some monster getting the best of me, or…"

He lets that linger, and that brings Luka's eyes back up. Raphael can't help but look deep into those yellow orbs, imagining all the pain and hurt Luka's experienced in the last year. It must have been horrible. He is trying to get him to cheer up, yes, but he is also legitimately impressed by his tenacity in the face of all this. Willpower like that is rare. Raphael realizes suddenly that he has, without thinking, taken a step forward so their chests are nearly touching. His other hand has also found its way to the left arm of the wolf, rubbing it through the jacket. They're now entwined very closely, and Luka has completely given up trying to look away. 

"I… Raphael-"

His ears shoot up first, then the rest of his head as he turns suddenly towards something in the forest. Raphael didn't hear anything, but he doesn't have a say in it as he's suddenly pushed against a tree. It's rushed, but as gentle as Luka seems to be able to do. He pulls away and immediately goes for the rifle, talking as he draws it.

"Stay here. Don't move."

Raphael is about to ask what's happening, but Luka is already running in the direction he just looked, leaving the human to look after him for the few seconds he can before the trees are too thick to see through. He's stunned, but the reflexes kick in soon enough, and he draws his own pistol, checking the magazine. 8 bullets. Hopefully that's enough for whatever is out there. His brain finally catches up to whatever just happened, and he can't decide whether he should follow the wolf or not. He has a better weapon than he does, more experience, and better senses. And he obviously told him to wait here for a reason. To protect him, perhaps, but maybe he has a plan that Raphael would just get in the way of. He wants to help, he really does, but the chance that he'd do more harm than good is just too high. In the end, he decides to wait it out. 

It's a lot scarier when he's alone. Just sitting against the tree trunk, he's finally able to really appreciate just how apt a name the silent forest is. In the meadow, there's at least the sound of wind blowing, or a dog howling in the distance, or a bird fluttering. Here, there's nothing. Which means that every single sound, no matter how quiet, sets him on edge immediately. He counts at least 8 times he's pointed his gun at nothing. He's trying to focus on evening his breathing to settle his racing heart, when the loud, very obvious sound of gunshots ring out through the forest.

His first instinct is to duck, but they clearly weren't anywhere near him. Another burst rings out, and Raphael's trained ears determine that it probably belongs to some kind of rifle, based solely on the sound. He doesn't know how he knows that, but if it's true, that means that Luka probably found whatever he was hunting. Raphael can't decide if it's a good or bad thing, but a few more shots ring out (he counts a total of 18) before all goes silent once again. He really, really hopes that means that Luka won the fight, and not that he's no longer able to pull the trigger. He closes his eyes and decides to assume that all went well until proven otherwise. He can't even imagine what he'd do if Luka never comes back. He's going to sit here and wait for him, as long as it takes. _When_ he comes back, he's going to be here.

\-----


End file.
